Undercover Tales :: by Jeff Davis

Chapter 2 Truth and Consequences

Despite the loud commotion, I knew that no one was hurt, but the parents had no way of knowing that this was the case. On a Saturday morning, you would think that the children would have the good sense to sneak quietly down the steps, turn the TV down low, find a show that all of them would like, and quietly enjoy a morning of cartoons, but then again, cooperation is not their strength.

“Its my time to choose the show, and we’re going to watch the Cartoon Network” Ryan yelled to Amanda”
“Unh Un, Ryan, Allison chose last, and its is always my turn after Allison,” squealed Amanda, as she yanked the remote control out of Ryan’s hand.
Allison snickered in the background as the conflict escalated, just waiting for her opportunity to manipulate the situation to her advantage and the time had arrived. Allison said, I think that we should watch Hocus Pocus, we all like that movie.
Almost in unison, Ryan and Amanda hollered, “Yeah, you would like that, wouldn’t you. That’s a two-hour show, and we have only had thirty minute shows, and we just got through watching your stupid show.” Unnah, Unn, Ya’ll said “Stupid” and that is an “X word.” “Shut Up Allison.” That’s another “X word” you guys are going to be in sooo much trouble. I will be able to choose the shows all day. With each exchange, the volume increased. The decimal level of the argument was so high that by comparison, a Rolling Stones concert would sound like a lullaby on mute.

Ryan yelled louder, “We are going to watch Ed and Eddy, and you are going to like it.” Allison taunted, the way things are going, I may be able to choose shows for a week. Amanda yanked the remote control away from Ryan. No way, we are watching Boy Meets World; it is my turn, so there. Finally, Ryan could stand it no longer and screamed as loud as he could, “ Aaammaandaaa!” He jumped over the chair and began a tug of war with Amanda. Just as Dad was coming down the stairs, the channel changer toppled from their hands and shattered on the floor.

The trouble with great potential is that one has great potential good and great potential for bad. Right now, there is an equal chance that Amanda, Allison, or Ryan could be persuaded to go down the dark path or head down the path of light. Based on the current situation, most people would bet on the dark.

Of course you know that yelling is a contagious condition, and this is especially true when it comes to parent-child relationships. Add to the mix that their father was up late working, once again, and had planned to spend a nice morning cuddled in bed catching up on his sleep. How many times have I told ya’ll that you can watch the television on the weekend only if you can be quiet and not bicker among yourselves. Will ya’ll ever listen to me and your mom? Even if ya’ll are not listening to me, with all of the noise going on down here, I am confident that the neighbors are listening to you. I’m surprised that they have not called the police either on your mom and I for neglecting our children or on ya’ll for excess noise and general nuisance. All of you seem to be looking for new and improved ways to give your mother and me a nervous breakdown, and I am pretty sure that ya’ll are well on the way to success. Amanda, Allison, and Ryan’s father took a deep breath, stared at the dismantled channel changer, sighed one more time and decided to find out the whos, whats, and whys of this morning’s scream fest.

O.K. guys, how did this all get started? It wasn’t me, cried Amanda, it was my turn, and Allison and Ryan started fighting over what television show I was going to choose. No way, said Allison, I just finished my show; I knew it was not my turn. I was merely offering a compromise. Ryan was the one that started the whole thing by taking the channel changer from me and then he started ranting about watching Ed and Eddy. Amanda yanked the channel changer from Ryan, and I am not sure if you heard, but both of them said an “X Word” to me at the same time, but I do not want to get anyone in trouble. . I just stayed out of the way and tried to help. Unh, Huh, said Dad in his most sarcastic tone. Amanda said again, “It was my turn, and I have every right to choose the show that I want to watch.” You forfeited your turn, said Ryan, when you got up to go to the bathroom during one of the commercials. It became my turn; you got out of line. Besides you are the one who dropped the channel changer and let it smash to the ground. You grabbed it Ryan. You dropped it. You grabbed it … Everyone (including Allision) was talking over one another until the words coming out of the children’s mouth sounded like the buzzing of bees that no one could understand, but everyone could hear.

Since the trainees have been steadily increasing in their unruliness, their father has started to wear a whistle around his neck to regain control of the ruffians. The shrill repeating rattle of the whistle blowing caused the buzzing argument to grind to a halt and startled the children with the sudden noise. Quuiieet! The arguing will stop, and the listening will begin. I am going to ask some questions, and only the child that I ask will respond. If anyone other than the person that I ask speaks, then that child will receive consequences. Does everyone understand? Yeah, yeah, relied the kids. Whoa, whoa, kids, dad replied in a stern voice, the correct response to a yes or no question is yes sir or no sir. Do you understand both things that I just said? The trainees grudgingly responded with a half-hearted, yes sir.

Chapter 1 Sly and the Kids

A blood-curdling scream from downstairs pierced the silence of the upstairs of the house, and the battle for the channel changer was in high gear. Three children struggling for control of the one channel changer with the fate of the next thirty minutes of lives hanging in the balance. Three children, three different shows (all reruns; seen at least twice), one television and zero consideration for the spy craft of cooperation, but then again Amanda, Allison, and Ryan are not noted for their ability to get along. Maybe I made a bad decision in selecting this brood of siblings for training. Nah, I think that these kids have what it takes, but this mission is obviously going to be one of my most difficult assignments.

Who am I? That is a fair question. My name is Sly the Spy, and I am the master of Intrigue. I’m sorry; I did not hear your question. The mission? Well …, I cannot tell you that, but I will tell you that these three children have been selected to be trained in the seven most important principle known to mankind. The principles? My, My, we are a little impatient, aren’t we? These principles will be revealed to you soon enough.

I keep a close surveillance on Ryan, Allison, and Amanda. Each of them has unique skills and personalities that are essential to my ultimate mission, but none of the children have met me … yet. After their initial training, there will have some great adventures ahead of them. You will get to know me as they get to know me. For now, let’s get back to the story. I know that you have many questions, and we will get around to them, but I need you to practice the art of listening, O.K.? Who knows, you may even find me to be interesting, but for right now, let’s get back to the excitement of the story.

This time they could not even team up against the third child for a two-thirds majority vote. Sometimes, the vote will generate a parental “Let’s Create Some Peace” show selection that allows the parents to avoid the real problem, create long-term animosity toward the parent in the odd child out, rewards negative behavior, and insures a repeat of the same behavior in the near future. This time? Oh, you are asking if this is the first time that Amanda, Allison, and Ryan have fought over the television. You do not appear to be very good at this listening thing. No, the channel changer fight is practically an everyday occurrence. The problem today is that the children do not realize that the ultimate lose-lose scenerio for children and television is about to occur. The final straw is about to be laid, and the parents have come to the realization that past decisions have lead to an out of control child situation, and the time to act is now.